President's Day Mess
by Ashynarr
Summary: Alfred thought he'd had the whole day off, but apparently a poorly planned meeting was on his schedule for the day. And why does everyone keep staring at him? He wasn't that late!
President's Day Mess (Hetalia)

Author: Ashynarr

Summary: Alfred thought he'd had the whole day off, but apparently a poorly planned meeting was on his schedule for the day. And why does everyone keep staring at him? He wasn't that late!

Disclaimer: Hetalia's not mine.

Warning: Humor, lots of implied ships, even tho I suck at actually implying them

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

It was rather easy to lose track of time while in the middle of an annual tradition, even if it was a navy ceremony and you were a Personification of a country gifted with such things as immaculate timekeeping. To be fair to Alfred, though, he'd been late in getting up due to a minor cold and so had, in his rush to get ready, totally forgotten another rather important duty he'd been scheduled for that day.

The 21-gun salute had gone impeccably, as it did every year (whether or not he joined in), and Alfred was feeling pretty good. Sure, it wasn't quite his first boss' birthday (since that was next week), but it was still a chance to remember all the good times he'd had with the man who'd been akin to a father in those early, frightening days of being independent. He'd been catching up with some of the other soldiers, contemplating another stint in the navy to escape the stress of the upcoming election for a while, only to hear his phone buzzing insistently as they reached the lockers.

"Huh, wonder who's calling?" Alfred asked no one in particular. "Didn't think I had any other plans today…"

By the time he'd gotten to his bag and dug the phone out, it'd gone into voicemail and started ringing again. Wondering what had happened, he checked the number, raised a brow, and hit the call button.

"Where the hell are you? We've been waiting for you for the past forty minutes!" Arthur snapped the second he'd picked up, leaving him to flinch at the tone before recovering with a frown.

"We who? Am I missing something?" The American glanced to the others apologetically, hoping he wasn't going to get dragged away from his tour of the base.

"Only the G20 meeting, that's all," The Englishman drawled. "You know, that rather important thing planned nearly a year ago for today."

"That was today?" He yelped, furiously trying to remember what was down in his planner. "I thought that was next week?"

"No, you took that off because it was your boss' birthday or something innate like that."

"Well, I mean it's Washington's actual birthday next week, but- gah, just hold on, I'll be there in five!" He ended the call and pushed his glasses up enough to rub the bridge of his nose. "Who the actual fuck mixed up the freaking federal holiday I've only been celebrating for two hundred freaking years?"

"You won't be joining us then, sir?"

"Nah, sorry about that, guys," He apologized, putting on a helpless grin as he looked back to them. "Duty calls, literally in this case."

Amongst a smattering of laughter he took his leave, throwing his bag over his shoulder and running for the exit, waiting until he was alone to make the relatively short Hop over to the UN building, and from there Up to the floor the others were waiting on.

He didn't even stop to consider the fact that he hadn't had a chance to change until he'd slammed the doors open, wincing inside at the sour looks of the others as he greeted them with a hasty "Sorry I'm late dudes, I sorta completely forgot this was today and went to one of the navy ceremonies and stuff; did I miss anything too important or can Matt just catch me up later?"

Ludwig, looking very much like he was holding back commentary, coughed into a fist before replying, "Just… sit down so we can attempt to get back on schedule."

"Righto," The American replied, wondering what had caused the German to give up on his favorite pastime of chastising him, but shrugged and went to flop down in the open seat beside his brother, his bag dropped gracelessly to the floor beside him.

"You're looking nice today," Matthew noted quietly while the German at the podium returned to his speech on… ah, energy stuff, right.

"Aha, was down at the base for the salute," Alfred shrugged, patting down his suit in order to get rid of the small wrinkles that had gotten into it. "I honestly thought the meeting was next week, so I don't exactly have any of my stuff on me…"

Matthew rolled his eyes, but a small smile was on his lips. "This isn't the most important of the meetings, so it's not too big a deal. I'll just lend you the notes and you can pay me back later."

"Thanks, Mattie."

"No problem."

After a few minutes, though, it quickly became obvious how boring meetings could become without even paper to take notes (or to doodle on). Alfred did not quite sigh, leaning back in his seat while his gaze wandered.

It seemed the others weren't exactly eager to be here either, based on how their own gazes were wandering from Ludwig. Or were they still annoyed at him for being late? It was possible, since the glances were being directed more often than not his way.

They didn't… seem angry, though? It was hard to say - as good as he was on reading into the mindsets of political opponents and the tactics of military opponents, he still had something of a stumbling block when it came to how others were feeling. He was better with his States and people, and most of the time he could get a feel on his brother, but the others were either too good at keeping their feelings in check or he just sucked at reading the atmosphere that much.

Possibly both.

Eh, whatever. It hadn't killed him yet, and trying to overthink motivations and stuff was exhausting.

His phone vibrated; glancing up to the speaker to see if he'd noticed, he reached over to pull it out of his bag, unlocking it and raising a brow at the number. Glancing over to Francis, he opened the message and, after reading it twice to make sure he hadn't gotten it wrong, promptly deleted it with a difficult to repress flush. Trust him to choose the weirdest times to be pervy!

Alfred took a breath, shaking it off and returning his focus to the front. Francis was probably just messing around, being weird like usual. God knew how many times he'd started flirting with anyone nearby whenever he got bored, and considering he'd been stuck in this meeting for nearly an hour now, it was a wonder he hadn't started bugging Artie instead.

When his phone buzzed again, he elected to ignore it, hoping that if he did Francis would be weird to someone else instead. After the third buzz, however, he relented, only to see they were not from the French Nation, but from Kiku, Yao, and Ivan.

The first one requested a chance to chat after the meeting, something he responded to with a cheery yes and a quiet hum. Catching up with Keeks would be great, and if they had time he could even redeem himself in Mario Kart after the faulty wireless causing his connection to lag. Maybe even make it three people if Mattie was interested!

From Yao was a request to get food after this, something that reminded him that he hadn't really eaten much asides from an energy bar that morning before running for the base. He replied affirmatively to that as well, figuring that there was no reason he couldn't do that as well. Hmm, probably had to be careful the two didn't start bickering again, like really, it was astounding how much they could fight over everything.

The third was in Cyrillic, and after a fast mental translation he raised a brow and glanced over to the Russian, who simply kept his sometimes creepy 'friendly' smile in place. Whatever might have been going through the man's head, he was hiding it well enough this time around that Alfred couldn't pick it up from here, leaving him to sigh and forego a reply.

Europeans were so freaking weird!

If the texts weren't enough to have him ever so slightly on edge, the others simply would not stop staring at him when they thought he wasn't paying attention! As much as he could ignore the world when it suited him, even he found it hard to miss the eyes that followed him whenever his hand came up to ask a question, or even when he stretched in order to pop his back.

He wasn't causing that much of a disturbance, was he? Surely Matt would have smacked him by now if he was being a pain!

(When he looked to his brother just to be sure, all he got was a smile and a shrug. Like that was supposed to be reassuring.)

~0~0~

Several hours later (and several presentations too many), Alfred was more than ready to simply book it for the nearest food place, only to remember his agreements for earlier. As he'd worried, Yao and Kiku were already starting to shoot each other sour looks as he made his way over, Matt thankfully following along to provide backup if needed.

"Hey guys," the American replied with a bit of forced cheer, mostly due to being hungry. "What'd you need me for?"

Yao easily stepped in first. "Since we haven't had a chance to speak in a while, I figured you might enjoy a chance to catch up. I was thinking perhaps at that lovely place just a few blocks down from here?"

Before Alfred could reply, Kiku stepped in. "Of course, that would be after you and I had a chance to speak. You see, I am working on a new manga, and I was hoping you might be able to help me with a few reference poses…"

"Oh, I'm down with that," the blond grinned, before glancing over to an impatient Yao. "Uh, maybe after dinner? Then we could head over to my apartment and I could get out of this suit-"

"It's fine!" Yao protested quickly, eyes suddenly wide as he glanced to his brother before recomposing himself. "I mean, I'm not certain the restaurant is open quite yet, so there is some time left to kill before then."

Alfred's lips pressed together, and as he glanced to his brother he knew he wasn't the only one weirded out by the sudden burst of cooperation between the two. Still, if they were going to get along even for a short while, he really didn't want to look into it too closely. World peace was a goal of his, after all, so even if they were plotting something, he'd prefer it to them at each other's throats. Again.

"Right, so, what's first?" He asked, glancing back to his Japanese friend as the latter pulled out his sketchbook.

"Ah, a relaxed stance, but upright. And with the hands behind…"

Alfred blinked, starting to adjust before getting what his friend was going for. "You mean at ease?"

(If he'd just said he'd been going for the military look specifically, he could have said that, sheesh! It wasn't like he didn't realize everyone's military outfits were different, and if this was one of those modern action thingies, he obviously wanted only the best representation for the Americans.)

"Yes, that," Kiku nodded, a brief hint of a smile on his lips as the American obliged. Once Alfred was settled, the Japanese man got to work, pencil scratching at paper only to pause intermittently.

Matt and Yao were to the side, speaking quietly enough that he couldn't make it out, with occasionally glances in their direction. Glancing to his other side showed the others hovering by the doorway, completely immersed in their own post-meeting discussions, and yet…

"Ah, Alfred-kun?"

"Yeah, Keeks?" He asked, focusing on his friend again.

"Could you remove your glasses for me?" He asked, slightly frowning.

"Sure, no problem," He replied, reaching up to pull them off and ever so briefly frowning as the ends of the hall went blurry as a result. He thought he could hear the conversations pause briefly, but when he glanced both ways they seemed to be continuing as normal…

Kiku coughed. "That helps quite a bit, but I was wondering, if you might still have the cap that goes with your outfit?"

"The hat?" Alfred nodded. "Yeah, it's in my bag. Want me to get it?"

"It would help me get the details right."

"Righto," The blond nodded, dropping out of his relaxed stand to crouch down and open up his bag. He tossed the hat up and caught it with his other hand, holding it while he closed up the bag again before standing and setting it down on his head with a slight flourish. "That good?"

Kiku coughed again. "Ah, yes, that will work perfectly, Alfred-kun."

He grinned, getting back into the at ease stance he'd been in before. "Glad to help!"

...did something just hit the floor? He glanced over, seeing Maria passed out while the other Nations attempted to wake her up. Without even really thinking about it he abandoned the small group he was with, jogging over and crouching down besides his neighboring Nation just as she was starting to stir.

"Hey, you alright?"

She blinked, eyes focusing before embarrassment started to color her face. "I, ah, didn't mean to do that…"

"Most people don't," Alfred laughed, offering her a hand up, which she took hesitantly. "Everything alright?"

"I… yes, I'm alright, thanks," She replied, shaking her head as she regained her feet before finally letting go. "Er, weren't you in the middle of something?"

The blond was about to reply, only to be cut off by his phone buzzing again. With a groan he pulled it out, only to pale at the number. "Oh fuck, I forgot I had plans with Ginny today she is going to kill me-!"

In a few steps he was scrambling for the handle of his bag, tossing it over his shoulder while his other hand held onto his hat. "Sorry guys I'll catch up with you all later this week!"

He disappeared in a quick step, leaving the rest of the hall in awkward silence before Yao smacked Matthew in the shoulder.

"What was that for?" The Canadian snapped, leveling a look on the older Nation.

"Why didn't you grab the phone first? You were closer!"

"And risk pissing off Ginny? I might have let the eye candy go, but I'd rather that then wake up to her hovering over my bed with a fucking knife for 'perving on her baby', thanks."

The others shuddered in unison, reminded that for all she was friendly most of the time, she had inherited quite a few things from the British Empire, including her absolute ruthlessness.

Kiku sighed, closing his book carefully before looking to the young blond. "How much would it cost for you to get some pictures?"

Matthew tilted his head back thoughtfully, looking to the rest of them with a thoughtful smile before responding. "Since I'm risking my phone and possibly my life on this, it's not gonna be cheap. I'm thinking… about a hundred of my dollars. For each of you."

The other Nations groaned, but pulled out their wallets and started counting out money in their respective currencies.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

AN: ...yeah, this is about two weeks late for the joke, but it's done and I guess it's somewhat humorous? I don't think the headcanon / joke of Alfred being absolutely oblivious to romantic gestures unless they're extremely blunt will ever die, simply because it suits him and because it's hilarious without being mean. Man, this prompt has been in my idea folder for YEARS, but it's finally cleared out even through a bout of 'fuck my life and everything in general' I seem to be going through.


End file.
